Alright, folks! Are you tired of opening up my blog only to find words, words, and more words yet? ;) Well, we’ve reached the end of this week-long mini-series on what I’ve learned as a photographer and small business owner this past year, and today’s topic is productivity. (If you want to read the previous posts, click here for thoughts on confidence and here for thoughts on creativity.)
(If you’re a client or have no interest in my blabbering and want to cut straight to the photography, please use the menu up top and the buttons on the sidebar to the right to explore my portfolio! I’m so glad you’re here and I hope to hear from you! :) )
I’m not going to lie… self-employment can be really hard. As much as I love being able to call all the shots and not having a boss to answer to, there are times when I just want someone to tell me exactly what to do. And as much as I love being able to run errands on a Tuesday morning if I feel like it and have “office hours” at 10:00 pm if that’s my best working time, sometimes it would be nice to have someone give me some structure and a list of things that must be done before the day’s end or else. That’s why I’ve had to learn a lot of things I’m sharing in this series by simple trial and error, and hopefully some of the lessons I’ve learned the hard way will help someone else avoid that part. :) But also keep in mind that I don’t have all the answers, and these aren’t hard and fast rules for a super productive and successful plan for running a business. Everyone has different preferences and different strengths and weaknesses, so take what I say with a grain of salt. What I do know is that once I started getting really busy, I was both thankful and incredibly overwhelmed, so I had to develop methods for managing my scary to-do lists. They may not work for everyone, but they work for me (when I have the good sense to use them, that is). So read on, and if you’ve got any tricks up your sleeve, be sure to share them in the comment section! :)
1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF (AND YOUR SURROUNDINGS).
Maybe this is something only I’ve struggled with, but I have a sneaking suspicion some of you have found yourself in the same place. Working from home is both (mostly) a blessing and (sometimes) a curse. I know that those of you who don’t work at home probably have this glamorized idea of sitting on the couch in your PJ’s at 3:00 pm with your laptop, getting to do whatever the heck you want. (My husband has told me multiple times that he’s jealous that I “get to nap” during the day. HA! What’s a nap?!) While it can be nice not to have to get dressed up first thing in the morning, there are times when I find myself in my PJ’s… on the couch… with my laptop… at 3:00 PM… and let me assure you that it is a TERRIBLE feeling. On days like this, I’ll wonder why I’m grumpy and can’t focus, and I’ll realize that I haven’t eaten a proper meal (unless coffee counts), seen the light of day, washed my face, or had any contact with the outside world at all that day. Hmm…. maybe that’s the problem. So this past year, I’ve taken strides to get better about taking care of myself, and I’ve noticed that I feel MUCH better and am far more productive when I make simple lifestyle changes.
For one, I’ve started drinking a ton of water, which helps offset my caffeine intake and keeps me from getting dehydrated (and by default, irritable). I try to keep semi-healthy food in the house and actually take breaks to eat it throughout the day. One of the great things about having a dog is being forced to go on several daily walks, which is great for getting out and moving around (and for vitamin D intake and a chance to clear your head and allow inspiration to strike). I’m also a HUGE proponent of a solid 8 hours of sleep a night, because otherwise I am way too tempted to nap. :)
Also, I think it’s important to work in proper surroundings. For me, this means several things: I need LOTS of natural light, so I open all the blinds first thing in the morning. My office gets quite a bit more light than my living room, so I try to work there as much as possible and I notice a huge difference in my ability to focus and work happily when I do. I’ve also become OBSESSED with candles. Good smells most definitely have an impact on my overall mood, and maybe it sounds silly, but that flickering flame makes me feel less like I’m working alone. And finally, the cleanliness of my workspace plays an important role in my ability to sit down and focus on the task at hand. This is something I have to force myself to do, because even though I love deep cleaning everything and getting rid of clutter, I have a hard time maintaining the cleanliness on a daily basis. But on days when I do make an effort to pick up and clean before I sit down to work… man alive, what a difference! I love this article I came across called “19 Things to Stop Doing in Your 20’s.” Number 9 on the list says “Stop treating errands as burdens: Instead, use them as time to focus on doing one thing, and doing it right. Errands and chores are essentially rote tasks that allow you time to think. They function to get you away from your phone, the internet, and other distractions.” So taking the time to clean (and cook decent meals, and walk my dog, and go to the bank) is actually super important not only for my productivity, but also for my mental and creative well-being. Just remind yourself of this next time you find yourself thinking it is physically impossible to get off your computer and fix yourself a sandwich or unload the dishwasher. :)
2. DON’T LET THE INTERNET CONTROL YOU.
Let’s just face it. Facebook is the evil enemy of productivity, is it not? I talked about this in my post on confidence, but I think it’s something we’re all pretty well-aware of and yet feel powerless against anyway, which is just crazy. It’s the internet, for goodness’s sakes! Between perusing social media and staring down our overwhelming email inboxes, it is sometimes just impossible to focus on the task at hand. (Especially when a lot of our actual work involves using the computer, where it’s oh-so-tempting to click that browser icon and start going through all our tabs.)
To help get this under control, I’ve implemented a couple of tricks. For one, I set aside specific times to tackle my inbox. When I was attempting to answer every email as it came in, only for a new one to pop up 30 seconds later, it was just way too overwhelming. So unless I get an email that’s time-sensitive and needs my absolute immediate attention, I try to save my emails to respond to once in the morning (usually first thing because I’m typically most alert and focused in the mornings), and then once again in the late afternoon/early evening. That way it becomes more of a to-do list item I can check off, rather than a never-ending task to avoid at all costs.
As far as Facebook and other distracting websites go, I’ve used site-blocking software with a lot of success. Right now I’m using a Google Chrome plug-in (which you can find, along with tons of other helpful tools, in the Chrome store). I typically set it to block my problem websites during certain chunks of the day (for example 9:00 AM-1:00 PM, and then 2:00 PM-5:00 PM) so that I absolutely cannot view them during those times and can instead focus on what needs to get done. Granted, I don’t use this nearly as often as I should, and it’s still something I’m always working to improve, but little tools like this go along way where self control fails us. :)
3. EMBRACE WHAT WORKS AND LET GO OF WHAT DOESN’T.
This really goes along with a lot of what I’ve already been saying in the confidence and creativity posts, but I think it’s super important and worth elaborating on. When I first got started in photography, not only was I desperately trying to find my style, learn technical skills, and figure out how to create a brand and run a business, but I was also dabbling in literally every genre of photography you could think of. I did weddings, family sessions, newborns, family reunions, seniors, a commercial project or two, pets, parties… you name it, I probably photographed it. I do think this was an essential part of discovering who I was and what my strengths were as a photographer, but over time, it became more difficult for me to narrow my focus and be willing to let go of the kinds of projects and shoots I knew deep down I just wasn’t cut out for. Since I’ve known from the very beginning that weddings are my true passion and really where my talents shine (in my opinion, at least ;)), I finally made the decision about a year ago to make them my primary focus. You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been blogging much of anything besides couples in love lately. It’s not because I don’t sometimes take on other shoots (because a little variety now and then is good for shaking things up, especially when it’s the right kind of client!), but I don’t openly advertise or attempt to market for anything other than weddings and couples shoots because I *know* that’s my strong suit and what I want my business to be centered around. Once I made that decision, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, because choosing a specialty allowed me to devote myself to becoming the best and most creative wedding photographer I could be (instead of the best “everything” photographer, which doesn’t actually exist- ever heard of a jack-of-all-trades but master of none?). Also, this choice has helped me to be more productive because I’ve been able to customize and streamline my workflow specifically for wedding season, and I don’t feel like my attention is being pulled in a thousand different directions.
Something that’s helped me to embrace what works and let go of the rest is to always be seeking out education opportunities and workflow solutions. I’m the kind of person who VERY easily gets stuck in her ways and can become unreasonably attached to outdated methods, because hey, if ain’t broke, why fix it? But sometimes that means that I’m unknowingly wasting time, and time is money, blah blah blah, so I need to learn from other photographers, tutorials, and books to see if there are solutions that exist to make my life easier. For example, I used to edit only in Bridge and Photoshop because it was all I had ever known and seemed to work just fine. But one day, I did some editing for my friend, and she wanted me to use Lightroom so that all the edits could be saved the way she does it. Let me tell you, I wasn’t too excited about having to learn new software. But 15 minutes into it, after I had figured out the basics, I realized that it was an amazing program and holy cow, where had it been all my life? It was SO much more intuitive and fast and easy that I immediately bought a copy for myself and haven’t looked back since. So sometimes, change is okay. It’s GOOD. And letting go of what was slowing you down is even better. If we aren’t constantly growing and learning new things and challenging ourselves, then it’ll be all too easy for us to get stuck with archaic, completely unproductive systems that are holding us back from reaching our full creative potential.
By the same token, I have tried things that just didn’t work for me (like PhotoMechanic… I don’t know why, it just never really fit my with my flow), and I had to resist forcing myself to use it just because it works for others. The point is that we shouldn’t be afraid to just try. Ask questions. Get recommendations. See if your friend will let you play with their software to see if it works for you. It’s the only way you’ll know what’s out there, and if your productivity could be improved!
4. IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO.
This one’s the biggie, and I feel like it’s the perfect way to end this whole series.
Up until last year, I was unable to say no to ANYTHING. I absolutely hate disappointing people, and I used to feel like the quickest way to do that would be to turn down a shooting opportunity. But what I’ve learned is that the real way of disappointing people is to accept a job knowing you’re spread too thin already, knowing it’s not the kind of photography you excel at, and as a result, being unable to perform at your best and meet (let alone exceed) expectations. In the end, everyone’s unhappy. As hard as it was the first time I turned down an opportunity because I knew deep down I didn’t have the time or resources to commit to it, I felt such an immediate sense of peace. I hadn’t made a promise that I would have to work myself into the ground to keep. I wouldn’t be risking burnout because I was protecting my need for relaxation and a personal life outside of photography. And they would find another photographer who could meet all of their needs, and everyone would be much happier. After that experience, it’s become much easier to politely decline certain kinds of inquiries and offer recommendations for other super talented photographers, because I know how important it is for me to have somewhat of a work/life balance and to be able to really take care of my existing clients. If I had about 5 more hours in the day, things might be different. But for now, at this stage in my life and in my business, I thankfully know my limits and what I’m capable of, and I’m a much more productive (and creative, and confident) photographer for it.
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Well, I guess that’s all I’ve got! If you made it through the novel’s worth of writing I did this week (at least that’s what it feels like!), then bless your little heart. I’ve already been so overwhelmed with the positive response to my first two posts, so I’m really hoping that my words have hit home in some way or another.
And I promise the next post will have photos. Lots and lots of pretty photos. :)
Have an amazing weekend, everyone! Thank you as always for your love and support!
As I mentioned before, this week I’m tackling three topics that mean a lot to me because they’re areas that I most struggled with and at the same time feel that I most developed in this past year: confidence, creativity, and productivity. (You can read the post on confidence here in case you missed it!) And again, there is a lot that can be said about ALL of these things, and there’s also a lot of overlap between the three, but I’m going to attempt to be as specific as possible in my observations and experiences and give practical applications so that hopefully you guys will be able to take away some good nuggets (clearly I love the word nugget, both in this context and the Chick-fil-A context).
(Side note: If you’re not a photographer or fellow business owner, and you’re a potential client or you just want to see my portfolio, please feel free to use the menu above to browse around, and click on some of my featured weddings in the right sidebar. I’m so glad you’re here and I hope to hear from you!)
I often wonder why it’s so hard for photographers to refer to themselves as being creative or artistic (present company most definitely included). It might be because people are literally telling us we’re not artists (true story, unfortunately!). Or maybe it’s because we have these lofty ideas of who “real artists” are, and we imagine them all to be tortured souls who live on the outskirts of society and can’t possibly be bothered to engage with small-minded commoners like ourselves. I don’t know. What I do know is that it’s been a long, uphill battle with myself to be able to answer the question “So what do you do?” in anything above an apologetic whisper. I used to hate saying I was a photographer because I felt like I was immediately opening myself up to critique. It’s like I was just waiting for someone to blow the whistle and expose me for a fraud. “An artist?!” they would scoff. “Oh, please! Who does she think she is?” Or at least these are how the imaginary conversations played out in my head.
And so I feel like a lot of my career in photography has been spent trying to prove myself. In the beginning, I would do all this crazy stuff in Photoshop because I was all, hey, look how cool and edgy and artsy I am! I also tried to find my voice by copying everyone else’s, as if there was some magic formula I could follow. Yep, I’ve made lots of silly mistakes along the way, but I finally realized there was no shame in declaring, OUT LOUD, “I’m an artist.” It eventually occurred to me that the mere fact that I wake up every morning itching to create something, to solve a problem, to make beautiful things, to share my ideas…. well, that alone made me an artist.
But it didn’t necessarily make me a good one. Honing my craft and developing my brand has required a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, and it’s an ongoing, everyday process. But there are some tips and tricks I’ve picked up along the way, and while no two artist’s paths are ever the same, there are plenty of ways we can learn from each other. :)
1. LOOK FOR INSPIRATION OUTSIDE OF YOUR FIELD.
When I first got started in photography, I thought that there was some kind of magic formula for creativity and success in this business. I figured if a particular photographer had a certain kind of logo or edited a specific way or wrote certain kinds of blog posts and it was working for them, then by golly, I should follow suit and surely it would work for me too. Well, after changing my website and color palette about five times in my first two years of business, and rotating through just as many sets of Photoshop actions in search of my “style,” and attending countless classes and a handful of workshops in hopes of learning all the “secrets,” I finally realized that there was no one magic formula. There wasn’t a 10-step list I could check off in order to become a rock star photographer. Most pros will now tell you that the “secret” is actually pretty darn simple: work your butt off, practice a LOT, and learn how to use your tools and get it right in camera.
Copying and “stealing” is a very touchy subject for most photographers. That’s why you see photos with giant watermarks on them, or photographers who refuse to post many of their photos online or share their knowledge freely, because they’re worried about copycats. I tend to go back and forth on this. On the one hand, I absolutely believe that there is nothing (truly) new under the sun, and we’re all influenced by everything around us and those who have come before us a lot more than we even know, let alone care to admit. I think it would be pompous of me to call any of my work “original,” simply because over time I have collected many little tidbits of inspiration and knowledge, so ultimately anything I do is going to be influenced by those things that I can’t take credit for. However, there have been times when it’s obvious that another photographer has “borrowed” an idea that I actually worked really hard to come up with as a way of being somewhat different or original, and my initial instinct is to be a little annoyed. There’s a very fine line between inspiration and copying in this business, and there are times when we all mask our “borrowed ideas” as inspiration to make it all seem completely harmless, and I do think that’s an issue. But when it comes right down to it, I’d rather my work be something worth copying than to fly under the radar unnoticed. I must be doing something right, so my job then is to stop wasting time worrying about copycats, and instead invest my energy in staying ahead of the curve and coming up with more ideas that inspire people.
But how can we stay ahead of the creative curve and keep from coming across as a mini-me of our favorite photographers? By looking outside of the photography world for inspiration. For example, when redoing my website over a year ago, I didn’t want someone to land on it and immediately think “Well, it’s obvious which photographer is her idol.” So instead of looking at other photographer’s websites, I spent time studying some of my other longtime favorite things: NYLON magazine, Kate Spade, DesignLoveFest, the art of Michelle Armas (my FAVE!), and home decorating books like Domino. As a result, I ended up with a super bright, colorful, modern, slightly whimsical and mid-century-ish design that 100% accurately reflects me. Nothing about it is minimal or understated or serious, but then again, neither am I! And when someone tells me how much they love my branding and how different it is from everyone else’s, I take it as a huge compliment. HUGE. If everyone else starts jumping on the bright colors/Kate Spade/retro-modern bandwagon, well… I guess I’ll just have to find a way to continue to “Be Morgan” while still always searching for the next best thing. :)
It seems like we should be only be looking at other people’s photographs to get inspired for the photographs we take, but I just don’t think it’s true. I get inspired by reading lots of fiction,, watching visually stunning films like Amelie and Funny Face, listening to music (especially watching live performances), and sometimes just by taking walks throughout the day and allowing myself to have space from technology and the quiet that my brain needs to allow inspiration to strike. So if you feel like your photography or branding or writing is just becoming a jumbled up regurgitation of all the photographers you admire, then consider taking a time out from looking to them for inspiration and instead seek out sparks of creativity in what the rest of the world has to offer.
2. SET BOUNDARIES.
Setting boundaries seems like a counterintuitive approach to being more creative, I know. But let me explain. I’m not telling you to not dream big or occasionally break the “rules” or avoid being trapped into labels or any of that. You should do ALL of those things. I’m talking about setting boundaries in the sense of giving yourself parameters to work within. For example, have you ever tried to look at a blank canvas and just magically come up with an amazing idea? Is it not the hardest thing in the world? Or is that just me? Ha.
The more I thought about how boundaries keep me working at my creative peak, the more SO many of my personality traits and tendencies began to make sense. For instance, by the end of my college career, I couldn’t even think about starting a paper until the day before it was due (sometimes I didn’t start until 4:00 am on the morning it was due, true story). Part of this was due to a little bit of laziness, but there was also something about that insane pressure of waiting until the very last minute that made me work at my best. I made my best grades on those papers that I was frantically still typing 10 minutes before class started, so I felt pretty justified in my procrastination. Ha. Another example of how tight limitations bring out my creative best? My decision to shoot primarily weddings. Wedding days give you so many boundaries to work within, it’s not even funny. From dealing with the weather and lighting conditions of the venue, to the pressure of having no second chances, to trying to find the bride’s brother during family formals, to having 10 minutes or less to shoot all the portraits of the bride and groom… the list goes on and on and ON. But what I’ve discovered is that I thrive in these situations. Having to solve problems on the fly is something I actually really enjoy. Making something beautiful out of less-than-ideal circumstances brings me a huge amount of satisfaction and happiness.
I recently came across an interview with Jack White in which he talked about how restriction is actually crucial for creative expression. He said “Deadlines and things make you creative, but opportunity and telling yourself you’ve got all the time in the world, all the money in the world, you’ve got all the colors in the palette you want, anything you want- that just kills creativity.” And that’s when it clicked for me. Suddenly my desire for guidelines and deadlines made total sense. My best work is done when I’m facing a specific mission or project with limited resources.
So the next time you find yourself staring at the proverbial blank canvas with no clue where to start, give yourself some specific guidelines and materials, and I think you’ll be surprised at how much more easily the ideas and creativity begin to flow.
3. EXPLORE OTHER (UNPAID) CREATIVE OUTLETS.
I was a hobbyist long before I ever became a professional photographer, and I remember how much I annoyed my family on vacation and my friends during our college years with my obsessive need to document everything. I loved it. And obviously I still do. However, I’ve realized that in order to keep my skills sharp and my ideas fresh now that it’s how I make a living, I need to be pursuing other creative hobbies just for the fun of it. It helps me to push myself and experiment in a low-stress, no-pressure kind of environment.
One of my favorite things to do in my down time is work on our house. I’ve mentioned several times how much I fancy myself to be an amateur interior designer, so it’s actually really fun for me to paint walls, hang curtains, think of projects to do, create artwork for the walls, collect ideas on Pinterest, and just in general make a happy and cozy home for us. I like to think that I’m strengthening my creative muscles when I do these kinds of things, which is only going to make me a better and more creative photographer.
One thing I loved about 2012 was becoming part of a group of female small business owners. We meet once a month and talk about the struggles we’re going through and encourage each other and bounce ideas off each other. But one of the other things we started doing was taking time to learn a little about each other’s craft. So I got learn the basics of letter-pressing, calligraphy, cake decorating, hair styling, and all sorts of other things. It was a great way to dabble in other creative outlets and see what I might be interested in pursuing for fun.
So I would challenge you, if you feel like you’re getting stuck in a rut with your creative career, to make some other kind of art just for the heck of it, whether it’s writing or knitting or painting or singing or anything else. I guarantee you that it’ll help you free your mind and improve the “work” you actually get paid to do, and remind you why you fell in love with it in the first place.
4. SHOW UP PREPARED, BUT BE READY TO TAKE A RISK.
One of the things I worked on a lot last wedding season was how to prepare myself for each event. I’m not talking about just having the schedule and contact info and a detailed map and an emergency kit in the trunk (though all of those things are very important). I’m talking about preparing myself mentally and creatively. I used to think that the best way to approach wedding photography was to just 100% go with the flow, and shoot with whatever ideas came to me organically throughout the day. But over time I’ve learned that while spontaneity is fantastic, it’s even better when you show up with a game plan.
For me, this involves envisioning what I want to do ahead of time. Bearing in mind each individual client and the overall spirit and vision and theme of their wedding day and the locations we’ll be shooting at, I do my research beforehand and map out a list of specific poses I want to do. I have about 5-10 “standard” shots I do with every couple, but then I like to shake things up by throwing in a few poses or set-ups that I’ve never done or don’t get to do as often as I’d like. Remember how I said in the confidence post that scrolling through other photographers’ blogs is usually more discouraging than inspirational (at least for me personally)? The way I seek out posing inspiration is through Pinterest. The great thing about Pinterest is that you’re looking at a mish-mash of photos instead of one particular person’s portfolio. So for me, I can really focus on the elements of each photograph that draw me in, whether it’s the pose, or the composition, or the lighting, without being distracted by who took the photograph. It’s also great because I love to look at old photographs and classic portraits for inspiration, so I can just make a little collection of everything to refer back to the night before a wedding, when I want to really zero in on my intentions and vision for the next day.
Another way to always be prepared creatively is to do LOTS of personal work, just for fun. This is something I have to remind myself to do (and I’m SUPER excited about a project I’m putting together right now, actually!), because I think it’s easy for me to think that if it isn’t paid work, then it’s not worth my time. WRONG. Doing this personal work allows me the freedom to really push myself and try out new techniques, because I would never want to treat someone’s wedding as an artistic experiment. Most of my very favorite photographers constantly stress the importance of personal work, and I think it really reflects in the quality of their photographs.
However, although you want to always be prepared and ready, I don’t want to underestimate the importance of being willing to take some risks and be inspired by the moment. Don’t plan so much that you’ve closed your mind to any other possibilities- just enough to give yourself a solid jumping off point. From there, go where the wind blows you and let your surroundings dictate the kinds of shots you’ll take.
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I hope you were able to find some of this to be helpful! I apologize once again for my tendency to ramble, but I just find it SO hard to keep it short and sweet when I’m sharing about things that are so near and dear to my heart. And again, please come back for the last post in the series, on productivity, later this week!
Have a wonderful Wednesday, and I’ll leave you with this little gem:
As I promised in my last post, it’s been my goal to return to blogging about things other than just my weddings. Some of you come only for the pretty photos, and I love that, but I know many of my readers initially began following me because I was sharing my experiences and the knowledge I was gaining while growing as a photographer, and I didn’t realize until recently how much I enjoyed and felt fulfilled by that teaching and mentoring and the relationships I had developed because of it. So with that in mind, and knowing realistically that I probably won’t ever be able to go back to doing weekly FAQ posts, I decided to do a mini-series looking back on what I learned in 2012 and what I hope to change in 2013. I’m focusing on three major topics: confidence, creativity, and productivity. These are the areas I feel that I most struggled with, and in the process, discovered a lot about myself and how to take steps to improve them. I also feel like they’re incredibly intertwined and dependent on each other, so I think there will be a lot of overlap in the things I have to say. My hope is that even though I’m describing my specific experiences and observations, my words will resonate with you on a more universal level, whether you’re a photographer or another kind of creative professional or small business owner.
(Disclaimer: I’m kind of long-winded. Sorry in advance. :) Second disclaimer: If you’re here because you’re a client or you want to look through my weddings, please feel free to browse through my galleries using the menu at the top of the page, or click on some of my favorite posts via the buttons to the right. So glad you’re here!)
Today I want to talk about confidence: how I’ve battled self-depecration and self-sabotage, jealousy, and general negativity, and the methods I’ve used to get control over these emotions and focus on the GOOD so that I can be a better photographer and a better human being.
How many times have you found yourself scrolling through your Facebook news feed in a zombie-like trance, refreshing the page over and over without even realizing what you’re doing, and discovering that within minutes you feel zapped of energy, depressed, unmotivated, and lacking any hope for the future of the human race? How often have you visited another photographer’s blog just to torture yourself by looking through their stunning photographs and seeing all the magazines that they’ve been published in and thinking that you’ll nevereverever be that good or that successful and also it’s-so-not-fair-that-they’re-drop-dead-gorgeous-and-live-in-an-awesome-Southern-California-house-on-top-of-everything-else? Have you ever forced yourself to edit your photos a certain way, or experiment with a different kind of composition, or advertise with a particular wedding blog, or wear an outfit straight out of an Urban Outfitters catalog, or buy a lens or a camera body, or establish a different pricing structure, just because someone else did it, even though you KNOW it has nothing to do with your style or the way you shoot or your personality? Even though you know you don’t need it/won’t use it/will look silly wearing it?
Or is that just me?
. . . Nope, I didn’t think so. :)
But the danger in this kind of behavior is the damage it inevitably will do to our confidence, which is crucial to our performance as creatives and as business owners. If I’m going into a wedding thinking that I’m a terrible photographer, is that in any way going to help me be at the top of my game? No ma’am. Don’t get me wrong- I think we should also have a healthy dose of humility and realize that there is always room for growth and improvement, but if we don’t start out with a fundamental, unshakable belief that we can do this, then we’re doomed to fail.
The good news is that there plenty of very basic, doable actions that any of us can take to keep our doubts and worries at bay and our focus on what we have accomplished, what we are capable of, and what gives us value and makes us unique. Here are just a few that have really helped me this past year:
1. UNSUBSCRIBE, UNSUBSCRIBE, UNSUBSCRIBE
About six or so months ago, I had a revelation. Every time I was getting on Facebook or perusing other photographers’ blogs for “inspiration,” I would close my computer feeling depressed and suddenly very insecure about my work and my life and what I had (or rather, hadn’t) accomplished. I would lose motivation to keep editing the photos from my last wedding that I had just been so excited about, thinking, I’m just no good, so what’s the point? We’ve all heard again and again that comparison is the thief of joy, and we know that in our heads, so why do we make it so easy for ourselves to fall into the trap? Why are we purposefully sabotaging ourselves and our happiness?
So I decided to just start getting rid of the sources of these completely pointless pity parties. I made myself a new rule: Unless a photographer was someone I was personally friends with or someone I had mentored in the past (because I still wanted to be able to encourage these friends), I hid them all from my news feed. I realized there was absolutely no need for me to be bombarding myself with everyone else’s “best of the best” photos just so I could compare mine to theirs. As photographers, we often tell ourselves that we’re using blog stalking and Facebook following for “inspiration,” but more often than not, it simply isn’t true. We’re either keeping tabs on the competition as a way of measuring our own successes and failures, or we’re looking for ideas to copy (not “be inspired by”). We tell ourselves that it’s a community, and we’re following these photographers to encourage them, but I think if we’re honest with ourselves, unless it’s someone we’re friends with in real life, we’re not really that happy when they take a gorgeous photo or win a prestigious award or get an amazing styled shoot featured on a top 10 wedding blog. Instead, we’re thinking, why isn’t that ME? It’s a dangerous rabbit hole to fall down, especially when the truth is that all of these super “successful” photographers are only posting their greatest achievements and hiding their weaknesses and struggles. The game is unfair before it even begins.
Other ways I’ve rid myself of the temptation to compare? I stopped using Twitter altogether, since it is mostly used only by other industry professionals, not my friends, family, or clients (the people I actually want and need to be connecting with). I haven’t opened Google Reader in over a year. And when I do come across a photographer whose work I admire, I look through their site for a bit, and then I write them an email to let them know that I love their work and encourage them to keep it up. But I don’t keep going back regularly to check in on what they’re doing, because I know how dangerous that kind of behavior is for me.
Something else I’m trying to work on is being more honest and transparent in my OWN online presence, because I don’t want anyone else to get the impression that my life is all lovely photos and fun trips and happy times. There is a LOT of hard work involved in this business, and some failures, and definitely a fair share of discouraging days. And every time I’ve just come right out and admitted that to a friend, or even occasionally on social media, I’m met with nothing but a lot of “ME, TOO”s and sighs of relief. I absolutely understand the importance of keeping a spirit of positivity present online, because that’s your first impression with most potential clients and you don’t want it to be tarnished by a bunch of complaining. (Besides, no one likes a Negative Nancy.) BUT, I think if we don’t take an opportunity now and then to reach out and say “Hey, guess what, I’m not perfect,” whether it’s to our friends or our Facebook followers, then we’re missing out on the chance to connect in a real, authentic way with everyone else who’s facing struggles (which is ALL OF US).
So I’m challenging YOU to take inventory of the causes of your self-doubt and take action to eradicate them. If it means ruthlessly cleaning out your news feed? Do it. If it means being more honest and authentic in your posts so that you’re not someone who other people feel like they should unfollow? Do it.
2. FOCUS ON THE GOOD
I promise not to get too Oprah on you, but I do feel there is a lot to be said for controlling your thoughts and your attitude. It’s easy to zero in on the negative: your failures, your lack of resources, your daily struggles, your fears. It’s a heck of a lot harder to dwell on the GOOD and tune all the rest of the noise out. But it can do wonders for your self esteem!
My best friend Kelly and I recently did an exercise that had a profound impact on both of us. (Kelly’s become somewhat of a self-help guru after attending Making Things Happen and starting The Happiness Project last year- both of which she will highly recommend to anyone she meets- so she sometimes forces me kicking and screaming into these activities that seem hokey and I of course end up loving them.) We started our own secret Facebook group (I know, what are we, twelve years old?! The answer is YES) where we could have an ongoing record of sharing what’s going on personally and in our businesses, as well as encourage each other, hold each other accountable, sometimes vent (we all need that now and then!), and celebrate each other’s victories, no matter how big or small. We started a specific thread (pinned to the top to always remind us) entitled “Achievements We Should Be Proud Of (To Lift Us Up When We’re Down on Ourselves).” In it, we started making a list of each other’s strengths, accomplishments, and good qualities. The night we started it, I think we had a total of 65+ comments in that one thread, going back and forth as we thought of new things to be proud of, from Kelly getting published in Southern Living Weddings to my “get it done” attitude to all sorts of things in between. That night, I felt SO happy and SO confident, like I had the capability of taking on the world, just because a good friend who knows me well had taken the time to put in writing what she admires about me.
Now I know not everyone has a close friend who also happens to share the same career and understand every single up and down (I definitely consider myself lucky!), but I encourage you to find someone to develop this type of relationship with. Someone who has a positive influence on you, who can hold you accountable in a non-destructive way, who is willing to be open and honest and, most importantly, encouraging. We all need someone to have our backs and pull us out of the rut when we’ve convinced ourselves we’re just no good. We need someone to speak truth to us and snap us back to reality and give us perspective. The reason I met Kelly in the first place was because I took a risk and put myself out there by sending her an email when we first moved to Birmingham two and a half years ago, asking if she wanted to meet up for lunch. That’s how most friendships are born… by taking a chance. So take a chance! Reach out! I think you’ll be surprised how many people you find who are also yearning for that kind of a friendship.
I’ve learned that it’s also important to develop relationships outside of the photography and wedding world. Talk about getting a reality check! When I’m acting like it’s the end of the world if Style Me Pretty rejected one of my weddings, my “real world” friends look at me like I am absolutely nuts and remind me that no matter how worked up getting over it, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m able to keep booking clients and making a living doing what I do, then why am I focusing all of my energy on a tiny little bump in the road? Again, we need those people in our lives to give us perspective when we’ve been locked up in an office alone all day with no contact with the outside world.
So I would challenge you to work on developing these relationships, and the next time you’re curled up in a fetal position thinking that your career is simply OVER because you didn’t book that wedding you really wanted, call or text or go out for coffee with these friends and allow them to draw you back to rationality and remind you of all the things you HAVE done. Also, make a “Things I Should Be Proud Of” list and keep it in a place where you’ll see it often, especially when you’re having moments of weakness and your confidence is feeling shaky. I bet you’ll surprise yourself at how long that list ends up being. ;)
3. EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE
I’ve been reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (because Kelly forced me to, ha), and one of the biggest takeaways I’ve gotten so far is Gretchen’s list of “rules for adulthood.” At the top of that list? 1. BE GRETCHEN. It seems so fundamental, right? Like, why would someone really have that much of a problem being themselves? But the truth is, don’t we all force ourselves into doing things every now and then just because we feel like we should, or because that’s what our friends and peers are doing? Gretchen points out that we all have this idea of who we think we are, and we often make choices based on this “ideal” version of ourselves. But then we end up not actually enjoying these things, and as a result, we’re wasting away precious hours of our lives being unhappy. For example, when I was in high school, I desperately wanted to fit in with the cool indie kids who were in bands and went to shows all the time. So I signed up for guitar lessons, started scouring the used CD stores for obscure titles, and bought a bunch of band T-shirts. Well GUESS WHAT. I hated playing guitar. It didn’t come naturally to me and I really struggled with it. And it just wasn’t fun. I also hated a lot of the music I was forcing myself to listen to. Why were these bands so whiny and loud and why couldn’t I understand what they were even singing? And my fashion choices… Well, we just won’t go there. The point is that I just wasn’t this person that I thought I was. I was a total nerd who loved reading, watched a ridiculous amount of HGTV and painted my room turquoise (much to my mom’s dismay), was obsessed with the 50’s and 60’s and shows like I Love Lucy and The Wonder Years, and what I really loved listening to was Styx. Ha!
But even after those dreadful high school growing pains we all go through, I still to this day struggle with embracing exactly who I am and letting that determine my path in this business. Any of you who have followed me from the beginning already know that by the amount of logos and color schemes I’ve gone through. ;) I’ll see Jose Villa’s soft, muted film images and think, “Oh wow, I should REALLY take up shooting film.” Or I’ll think someone’s neutral, minimalist website is gorgeous and I should get something like it. Or someone advises me to change my pricing structure so that I can up-sell more products and make more money off of every wedding. But guess what? Those things aren’t ME! The truth is, I love bright colors… in my photographs, in my branding, in my wardrobe, and in my LIFE. I’m a little crazy and rough around the edges and I can’t pretend to be anything but. I’m NOT a salesperson and I’m not in this business to make a huge salary. So once I decided to stop following everyone else’s lead based on what was working for THEM, and start forging my own path instead, I noticed a major difference in my happiness with my brand and felt much more confident about my decisions, knowing they were rooted deeply in who I was as a person and what I ultimately wanted out of my career and out of my life. When I look at my website, I feel really happy because IT’S SO MORGAN. When I look back through my 2012 weddings and view them as a body of work, I feel happy because IT’S SO MORGAN. And simply by being myself and no one else, I’ve managed to carve out a niche and stand out and attract exactly the kinds of clients I want to work with. Again, it’s such a simple premise: “Be Morgan.” But it’s also one of the most difficult and most important decisions I’ve made so far.
So I would encourage you to REALLY examine who you are: your likes and dislikes, your style, your approach to business, etc. Make lists if you need to in order to narrow your focus! And every time you are faced with a decision (how to design your website, what products to offer your clients, how to respond to an inquiry that doesn’t seem like a good fit, what to say on social media, even what outfit you’re going to put on that morning), remind yourself to be yourself. And I guarantee you you’ll feel 100% more confident about the decision you made.
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Don’t say I didn’t warn you about my long-windedness. ;) But in all seriousness, I do hope you found a little nugget of inspiration or advice to take away from this to help you in your own battle against self-doubt and increase your confidence. I truly do feel that confidence is incredibly fundamental to being a successful creative business owner, so if you find yourself questioning your every move, it’s time to make some changes.
I love hearing from my readers, so if you want to share any of your own experiences or advice in the comments below, that would be wonderful! And if you found this helpful at all, I’d love for you to share it with your friends. Be sure to come back for the posts on creativity and productivity, too! :)
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Jenn Valluzzo - Love it Morgan - this series has been great! I’ve recently been shutting off facebook too. It’s amazing how much more productive I am without it. But it IS so tempting. Another thing that has helped is better organization of my to-do lists. Mapping out my week and then breaking it down by day. I’m so motivated to complete my day’s tasks I actually get them done. :) Thanks again!!
sarah der! - Um, Bryan, Toulouse, and I should probably just come live with you guys, since candles/saying no/lots of walks/a decluttered work space/yummy snacks/delicious water and tea throughout the day are all things that help me work well and be productive, too! So, I’m just saying we would probably be really good housemates is all. :)