I have to admit…. When I became engaged, I didn’t turn into a bridezilla control freak, but I did discover a fantastic new hobby: wedding planning. It’s one of the craziest, busiest, stressful, and most fun things I’ve ever done. And naturally, when the wedding was over, I began having withdrawals. I mean, when you’re used to beelining to the bridal magazine section every time you go to Borders and watching endless marathons of Whose Wedding is it Anyway? and lying awake at night going over and over your song choices every single day for almost a year… well, you’d have withdrawals too. :) Also, it was the closest I’ve ever been to my mom. Aside from a few minor meltdowns and arguments, we had the best time shopping and planning and creating together. Despite our differences stylistically, we came together as a team in a way we never had before. So yes…. my engagement was really one of the most exciting years I’ve had.
Now, as a wedding photographer, I get to see weddings from the other side, the vendor side. And it’s awesome because I have been able to continue indulging all of my color-coordinating, detail-designing, wedding planning whims. I don’t think our wedding could have been any more perfectly “us,” but it’s still so much fun and so inspiring to wander around the Internet and bookstores, searching for all things wedding. So today I really just wanted to share a little bit of what we went through while we were planning our wedding, and what I have learned since then as a wedding photographer, so that maybe I can provide a little help and inspiration for all you fiancees out there who are in the thick of it right now. By no means am I an expert, but I do speak from experience, and I know that when I was in the midst of planning, I was a sponge for any information and advice I could find. So if it helps even one bride just a little bit, it’s totally worth it.
Here are my biggest pieces of advice:
1) Do it your way. It sounds cliche, I know, but if you don’t, you’ll regret it. For instance, I knew strapless dresses were the most popular, but I wanted no part of that, because strapless does NOT do anything for me and I just personally didn’t like the look. When I scoured bridal shops and couldn’t find anything I liked, I asked my mom to make my dress for me. I wanted something short and vintage-y and not strapless, and here’s what we came up with:
(all wedding images copyright Andy Armstrong Photography)
And I looooved it! Since then, I’ve found that there are a lot of great resources for buying actual vintage dresses, and more dress designers are waking up to the fact that not everyone wants to wear a floor-length strapless gown, so it’s easier to find more options. Take advantage of that!
We didn’t want a formal, traditional wedding. So we used every opportunity to make it our own. From the dress, to the music choices (I walked down the aisle to Ben Folds’s “The Luckiest”, we recessed to The Postal Service’s “Such Great Heights,” we played Dolly Parton’s “Marry Me” in between the ceremony and reception, and our first dance was to Bright Eyes’s “First Day of My Life”), to the food (a Southern-style buffet, with fried chicken and homemade pies and sweet potatoes and all that), to our DIY-ing the crap out of all the decorative elements…. it was all US. And people could see that, and they appreciated it. It was special and meaningful and memorable. So don’t be afraid to break tradition, because honestly, most of us don’t even know where the traditions came from or what they mean anymore. Instead, make every detail mean something. You won’t be sorry.
2) DIY as much as you can, and get your community involved. One of the things I loved about our wedding was the amount of help we received from all our friends and family members. My mom and I designed all the table decorations, which were composed of tons of found candlestick holders, bird figurines (which we spray-painted white for uniformity), Ball jars, and table overlays in various colors and patterns sewn by my grandmother. One family friend made the cake, another baked all the pies, another did the flower arrangements and bouquets (which were all composed of tons of daisies bought in bulk at a local grocery store), another directed the rehearsal and ceremony, another was in charge of the music, and even more helped set up, tear down, and serve throughout the entire day. I was overwhelmed with emotion and thankfulness for all that had been done for us. So not only will you save some money, but the involvement of people you love will make your wedding day all the more memorable.
3) Plan for everything. I can’t emphasize this one enough. I know, it seems redundant, but so many things can happen on the day of that it’s best to have a plan and a backup plan for everything. Make a timeline. Delegate tasks to responsible and willing friends and family members. Keep your guests in mind at all times, because even though it IS your day, you want your guests to be comfortable and have a good time. So prioritize with that in mind. And this, I realize, is a little biased, but plan for your photographs. They will be all you have left to remember the day by, so give them priority too. Allow for plenty of time to take photographs. Consider seeing each other before the ceremony to allow for more time for photographs than you might have if you were to squeeze them between the ceremony and reception. Want beautiful natural light photographs? Think about the time of day when the light will be best- usually early in the morning or the hour before sunset, when the light is golden. We planned our entire wedding around this, actually, and I’m so glad now, because we have photographs with so much gorgeous, golden light. Trust me, your photographer will love you for this. :)
And finally, just be inspired and have fun with it! And to help with that, I would suggest visiting some of these sites for loads of daily inspiration. (Oh, how I wish I had discovered wedding blogs when I was planning!)
And OF COURSE, you have to check out all the amazing handmade wedding goods on Etsy:
And there are way, way, waaaaay more resources out there. Just do a little research and you’ll hit a goldmine! Also, I just wanted to share three of my favorite real weddings I’ve seen on the Internet this past year:
Josh & Jude, photographed by DixiePixel
Brian & Carrie, also photographed by DixiePixel
Ross & Rachel (not of Friends!), photographed by Kelly Moore Clark
So I hope all this helps a little! If you geek out about weddings as much as I do, I have a feeling it might….. :)
susan - Thanks for this, Morgan. Were in the midst of DIY invitation hell and I needed to be reminded that it’s gonna be worth it.
admin - anytime! i know how crazy all this can be…. hang in there! it WILL be worth it!
Melanie - Morgan, I must agree that planning your wedding really was a lot of fun. For all of your blog followers, allow me to clarify - I simply executed the plan (and her Dad wrote the checks!). Morgan was the creative force behind every detail of her wedding, making it personal, intimate, whimsical and fun all rolled up together. I still have people tell me that it was the best wedding they have ever attended. For future brides and mothers-of-the-bride I offer this advice - Keep It In Perspective. Most guest attending your wedding will not remember what color the bridesmaids wore, the exact table decorations or the specific food you serve. What they will remember is the experience.
As for all of the details that make your special day wonderful, it is imperative that you hire the best photographer to capture the moment (of course this would be Morgan Trinker Photography).
Celebrate Love—-Mom